i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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