im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
