Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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