I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
