Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
