I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
