my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
