I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
