Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
