so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
