why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
