So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
