My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My penis needs a shock collar
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
