Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
