Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He passed out mid-signature
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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