Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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