scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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