Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
