What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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