1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
