It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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