I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone came in the potted fern
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
