OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
