Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
