i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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