yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
