just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize