Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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