If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
