wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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