That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
