guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
