Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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