sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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