You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
