There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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