If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
