at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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