The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
