I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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