Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
