are you still at the devil's house?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
