I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
