The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
