Will you blow on my dice?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
