I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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