She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
