My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
