this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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