So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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