So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
